What do Women Want (reflection)

What Do Women Want  

by Kim Addonizio:

From the perspective of a man who has never seen or understood the inner workings of the female mind, this poem is both insightful and frightening, working to confirm many thoughts I've had to try to explain the workings of the common female psychosis.  This insight is combined with the striking womanly image of the revealing red dress.  The fact that it was written by a woman and it gives such a sinister tone to the attitude of the woman speaking in first person adds a dimension of honest self criticism to the poem that deepens the already profound insight.

So, according to this poem, what do women want?  She says she wants a red dress, but following in the fashion of the female mind, the red dress really isn't what she wants.  Shortly after saying she wants a red dress, she says she wants to wear it until someone tears it off of her.  What does this mean?  Apart from the obvious, it means she does not want to simply take it off for someone or give herself to someone.  She wants to be desired enough by someone for them to take her, to independently decide they want her without her having to put effort into seducing them.  She wants to be an object of desire.  She describes being seen by people she presumably knows in a part of town that sounds dirty and populous wearing her skimpy dress, adding an air of exhibitionism to her wish to be seen as an object of desire.

But following again in the ever-complicated fashion of female thought, it isn't that simple.  Near the end this new character, "you" is introduced, and she wants to confirm his (I assume it's a man) worst fears about her and show him how little she cares about him.  Now, this character could be an ex or even a current lover.  It could be one of her parents or any figure she has perceived as an figure of authority or influence in her life, but the specifics don't really matter.  The point is that she has revealed that she wants the red dress to be a sexual object of desire to spite someone else she feels somehow deserves her scorn.  I am inclined to believe it is some kind of lover or ex-lover situation, evoking some of the symbolism of the scarlet letter, where she is choosing to be an adulteress.

The ending of this poem turns the symbol of the red dress into a metaphor.  More than just an item of clothing it becomes a symbol of a choice of identity like "choosing a body", and that she is, at least in this moment of heated emotion, determined to maintain this chosen identity until she dies.  These last few lines are particularly revealing.  They reveal her association of an item of clothing with this promiscuous persona, that she is choosing this persona out of malice rather than genuine desire, and that her thoughts are not rationally based.

So, ultimately, what do women want?  Well... this woman wants a red dress to be a sexual object to scorn someone and continue scorning them until she dies.  This woman wants to cause painful retribution and fill a gaping hole in her self esteem.